The Commander has headrest realese mechanism verry similar to many other vehicles you may have seen. They are just covered with material. Operate them through the headrest covering.
I remove the second row headrests once a week in ours. There is a squeeze realese button covered by the headrest fabric at the base of the headrest where the posts enter. The spring loaded release is at the rear of each post. Push it forward to release.
Easier access by flipping the seat forward until the headrest tilts forward, push the seat back up with the head rest now pointing forward. The button is now pointing up, so gently apply light pressure into the fabric of the headrest bottom and slide your finger down towards the rods attaching to the seat. While holding the button in, push the headrest off the posts.
I find the release to be bigger than I remember each time. Any time I'm having difficulties I find that I've missed the release and am squeezing the living daylights out of the post guide. Mine may be getting easier due to excessive use.
Oh, this is old. Sorry.
I slip my headrests back on after installing our child seats, and so far haven't needed to use the release tabs to get them off to remove the child seats.
Sorry this was wordy, I just can't seem to type my thoughts clearly, and don't have the Jeep here to take pictures of. Hope this helps, if not let me know.